Make some noise with a "Z".

First of all my title for this blogpost is in fact a TV show quote. I will spend at least post on my favorite TV shows, mainly because they are silly.

But it also brings to mind a lot of happy and joyful kind of events which are very similar to my wedding day.

Yes folks I'm now married! Forever and all that good stuff! To prove it here's a picture:

 

It was a pretty awesome day, to sound cool and mature and not at all ridiculous but there was one moment where I descended into weirdness with Homestar and that was when we were cutting the cake. I am going to tell this story in pictures because they add to the weirdness. Our reception was more of a luncheon thingy with just friends and close family. We had it at a park in Ogden called the MTC learning park. It was pretty awesome and super gorgeous! I would recommend looking it up online. (Name that movie!)

So everyone gathered around us and then we attempted to cut this cake. I will be honest. My face in this picture describes what I am feeling. "Haha. We are pretending we have no idea how to cut this cake, aren't we cute? hehe, can someone help us...please?" I was pretty desperate because we looked foolish. but not the cute we're-so-in-love-we-can't-even-cut-the-cake, the we-can't-cut-the-cake-we-look-dumb. kind.

[sidebar: my sister made the cake and it was so gorgeous! She's pretty legit.]

This is when my mom had to step in and cut the cake for us. There are many pictures of my mom stepping in and helping me from destroying something. Whether it was from stopping me from stabbing my prom date with a boutonniere pin (she even helped pin on Homestar's) to stepping in and fixing my wild hair. My mom has been there and it wouldn't be a real gathering if she didn't step in again. Thanks Ma!


[sidebar: I call my mom Ma and my dad Pa so that they know which child they are talking to. They tend to roll their eyes when I do this.]

So we cut the cake effectively and then we are going to feed each other.  Earlier, Homestar had told me that if I was nice, he would be nice. So I was going to be nice. You can see it in my eyes that I am going to lovingly put it in his mouth.  What happened next was he shoved cake in my face and so I took my plate and smeared it on him.  There is no picture of when I did it but my brother-in-law said that I looked "scary".

  

My mother then proclaimed: Emily! So in this picture my only response was "He did it first!" Which is true. My actions were purely reactionary. I would not smear stuff on my one true love. That is mean.

So of course he had to help clean me up. And that is where this awkward gem appeared. I'm not quite sure why I look like that or why I decided to put my head like an awkward ostrich.  I appear displeased. hmm...no comment.

Anyway, my cousins decided to then convince us to kiss. They all started singing "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid. It went a little like this:

Them: She-la-la-la don't be shy, you better hold on tight you should-"

*awkward pause while I put it together*

Me:...yeah...oh kiss the girl!

Them:...so kiss him.

Me: Right!

 

So I did. Albeit a little awkwardly. But that's just like our love. Awkwardly cute and weird.

Average is as Average does.

My wedding is about two weeks away (15 days to be exact).


I honestly can't wait. Patience has never and probably will never be a very "developed" talent of mine. Instead, I employ tricks like demanding that time move faster so that I can be married in what feels like no time!

Just fyi:   Time is a Jerkface.

I guess it's probably a good thing that I have more time than I want because the things that I need to get done seem to continue to pile up and every time I check off a big one about fifty more small ones pop up.



And then I have the whole problem where I recognize that I should probably be spending some time with almost husband (15 days) but we do not live in the same town so it means we have to schedule it like we are some sort of high powered couple with crazy busy important schedules instead of two silly kids with broken cars and jobs in different cities.

Maybe its a good thing but I have to admit I prefer seeing him everyday and doing dumb stuff then planned dates. It seems a little stuffy.

Well, on an extremely upbeat note I have figured out what his nickname is going to be! This is a BD [big deal] because I take nicknames seriously.

I really do not like calling people by their given names. For some reason, I will shorten it to make one syllable or add syllables because "it sounds better" or make one up completely because it has nothing to do with their name. I really do not follow a pattern.

I do this with everyone. I also tend not to ask them if they like it because then they might so "No" and I would not be able to call them what I want to. To save myself from having to stop, I just do it. (Nike would be so proud!)

Anyway, I have come up with a nickname for him; Homestar.

This name is partly because I love Homestarrunner. (check him out at homestarrunner.com)
It's partly because I think of him as my hommie G. (we have in fact started a gang.)

For realz. Here are our gang pictures:

 Ok these really aren't gang pictures but we are complete ridiculous together so he can totally be my hommie G.

And it's partly because of this song:

Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. Here's the link to their video (they have two swear words, I'm sorry) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHEOF_rcND8

Here's the lyric that just makes me think of Homestar every single time:
man, oh man you're my best friend
I scream it into nothingness
there ain't nothing that I need

Seriously.
The lyrics are amazingly great at describing how I feel.  The chorus is:
Ah, home
Let me go home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Ah, home
Let me go home
Home is wherever I'm with you.


Home really is wherever I'm with Homestar. And in 15 days, we're making it permanent.

So I went to Haiti...

Hello blogging world!

I have returned from Haiti, free of malaria, stress and (unfortunately) orphans.  So it was a fairly successful trip in my mind (minus the whole orphan thing).


Haiti is a gorgeous country that has problems (like most countries) but unlike some countries Haiti's problems are kind of the serious kind: malaria, AIDS, earthquakes, terrible infrastructure, etc.  Which means that the biggest source of income/growth could come from tourism which is limited because as it states of the State Department website: Travel is not recommended in Haiti.


Well, the Emily department recommends it; especially if you like to have your life flash before your eyes anytime you used public transportation.

To start off my stories about Haiti, I need to explain what I was doing there.

As a requirement for my major, I had to have an "international experience" (no joke that's what it's called)  so I because I knew someone who knew someone who was a part of this NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) called Sustain Haiti I decided to go with them.

I had a great time as a part of that organization. I even had a name badge with a horrible picture. It was very legit.  We spent our time working on different projects like micro-financing loans, orphanages, gardening, and health projects like teaching handwashing and basic first aid.

We did a little bit of everything but I really had a blast working with the orphans. They were definitely the best part of the trip. But it was hard to leave them. Anyway, Sustain Haiti was located in Leogane which was the epicenter of the quake last year. So it still had a ton of problems but it was a gorgeous part of Haiti.

Sorry to be so long but here are some pictures:

[sidebar: I can't get my pictures to load, so I will post more. These are ones I stole from facebook]

This is about how many people can ride a moto if you don't have any problems with personal space.  The driver of the moto is in green. His name is Junior and he was one of the funniest people I met. He was the guy who helped us out and took us around to different projects that we did. He was mainly involved with the gardening aspects but he helped us out a ton with other stuff too! He was just all around a good guy.  The people on the bike (front to back): Paula, Junior, Me, Rony, and Jon.

Riding a moto is a bit like putting your life in the hands of mad scientist. You really have no idea what they are thinking but they obviously know more than you....they both can also kill you. I really spent quite a bit of time on a moto wondering if the last words to your loved one were going to be, "Don't forget me" (true story) and "Stay awesome". 

This is the group of us (from left to right): Madouchie, Becky, Claire, Me, Abby, and Schnider.  Madouchie and Schnider were the kids who would follow us around because they did not go to school. We are sitting in front of the LDS chapel in Leogane waiting for the rain to stop so we can go to our next appointment.

In Haiti, if it rains, everything stops. Nothing keeps going. It's pretty insane to tell you the truth. Literally, the entire town just stops functioning. It's a blessing and a curse [name that TV show!] because sometimes you would like to take a break but mainly you are hoping that they get back to work soon.

Ok. We are making boxes for transportable gardens for orphanages that do not have enough ground to plant there.

Junior and I had a brother-sister relationship. His wife (Saskya) and him were the Haitian version of my cousin and her husband who I love so that was pretty cool. He would make fun of me all the time and I responded by pulling pranks.

When we finished these boxes they looked like coffins, so I hid in one and jumped out at him...worth it.

 

These three are adventure pictures. The middle one is not any where near the first and the last one, but I thought it looked better in the middle. 

Haiti is basically a giant beach with mountains. It's kind of cool.

These two pictures are me with adorable orphans. I have and will be posting more pictures of orphans. I guess it should be mentioned that I wanted every orphan I had but as my friend Matt says, "YOU'RE NOT MARRIED YOU CAN'T HAVE A KID", and when Matt is the voice of reason, things are definitely a little weird. 

This last two pictures define my trip to Haiti:

A lot of smiling, sweaty faces but I had such a good time! I also did have that slightly crazed look the entire time I was there. I'm not quite sure why.

The first picture is of me and Becky holding bags of water. These are best when they are ice cold and it's literally a plastic bag of water that you bite a hole in a guzzle down. They are amazing!

The next picture is of me and Junior and a water bottle called Emily Drink. Junior said that I only brought a giant water bottle so I could feel helpful, because I knew I couldn't drink it all. Basically it was one of those times when a name just sticks and so soon everyone was drinking from Emily Drink. It became the thing to ask for and Junior even came up with a slogan.

Emily Drink...For Everybody!

It still makes me crack up.

Nickname Recalled. Lamest Sauce.

I guess I should start out this blog post with the most interesting of news:  

I'm engaged!!!!

[Yes that had to be in the biggest font available!] Which is totally awesome because it means I'm marrying the best person in the entire universe who currently has a goatee that makes him look about 20 years older than he really is....whew, that was a mouthful.

For awhile, I thought I was going to just upgrade him from the BF to the F, but then I thought it looked like he was failing and a lot of blogposts started out with the F and I which is just weird. I also considered other names like the hubby which made me sound...icky and Cutie Pie Jones which is just plain weird. 

Then I talked to him and he was all like:

Him: no.

Me: please.

Him: no.

Me: please.

Him: no.

Me: fine.

So I guess I'm going to have to come up with some sort of awesome nickname on my own for him and now because he wants no part in it; it has to be some sort of sugary sweet kind of nickname. What about sugarlips? Or Cooky? Or babyhoneysweetieoatcakes?

I have to admit I'm partial to the last one.

Why I am Still Awkward [The Abridged Edition]

I am in this scholar thing.

Its basically like the dorkiest thing I have done to get money for school.

Seriously.

You want to see a nerd. Don't look to far from this one because I have a permanent residence in Dorkville, I work in Geekland and I summer [sidebar: I have been waiting for an opportunity to use that as a verb :) ] in Nerdtown.

It's "Where amazing scholars come together to discuss transformational ideas!" (taken from the website). It makes it sound like Brain Camp or Space Camp "where young explorers come together and soar to new heights!" Its perfect for me because it involves reading books and talking.

I like both. Many would say too much. :)

Anyway, we decided to take pictures because we have to create this book to give to our benefactors. I was against this idea from the beginning but I was over-ruled because "pictures show them who we are." [sidebar: that is a direct quote from one of the girls]


So we took pictures. Most people were nice photos that look like head shots similar to this:

A nice photo of them that even Tyra Banks (of America's Next Top Model fame) would be proud of. No weird teeth shots, happy without looking crazy, beautiful hair, etc. I know Tyra would make this photo of the week (seriously watch the show. It's pretty awesome)

This is my best shot. And it's been tranformed into black and white, so it looks better.

Here are the first three things that people ask:

Q: What's with the plant and the book?
A: We were told to bring our favorite book that we read and mine was Tropical Nature. A book about nature and of course I decided to pose by the house plant, which is not tropical at all.

Q: Why is your mouth open?
A: I don't know. I guess I thought this was a good idea but instead it looks forced and weird. From all the Top Model that I watch you would have thought that I would have learned my lesson and not opened my mouth like I'm a fake model.

Q: So...you are the face of this program?
A: Oh heavens. I hope not.  I am not nearly scholarly enough.

And this ends the abridged version of why I am still awkward.

Come back next time for: reasons to call your dad pops!

Work: Nerds and Seats

My spring break was a great break but describing it in detail is difficult because half the things I did were family or work related. I mean seriously I worked ten hour days and wrote a research paper and saw my recently returned grandparents who just came home from their (3rd) mission.

NBD (that means no big deal for those who are unaware :) And they do not translate into stories that anyone would ever want to read.

Instead I have decided to tell you the story of the bathrooms in my place of employment.

I work at an IT service desk. I deal with computers which makes you think that I definitely am a complete nerd who is smart with computers.

TRUTH: I am a nerd

FALSEHOOD: I am good with computers

But the point is that the ratio of males to females at my place of employment is about 3 to 1. (Sidebar: this ratio used to be higher but there has been a large wave of female employment.)

Our bathroom is small. I'm not going to lie. If we worked at a spot that had even one more woman, we would definitely have a line for the bathroom. Seriously.  But there is one thing in this bathroom that I am almost certain no other bathroom has.



Movie Theater Seats!!


 My bathroom at work has a row of Movie Theater seats. Do you know what this means? This means that should I ever need to wait I can wait in the padded comfort of a velvet red theater seat.

How they got in there is beyond me but they are there and because I was feeling....I don't know you pick:

a. bored
b. hyper
c. silly
d. somewhat foolish
e. angry
f. tired

g. zebra
h. all of the above plus a banana

I felt it was high time to send the BF a picture of my delightful bathroom.

[sidebar: I can't upload the picture on here b/c it is on my phone and it refuses to come off...seriously, my phone does not like my blog. I tried to make amends but it just wasn't happening.]

I sent it to him with the message, "this is my bathroom! Aren't those seats awesome?"


I'm sure if the BF wrote a guest post (which he won't) he would discuss many wonderful things about how my complete inability to follow social norms creates wonderful opportunities for him to love me creatively.


I'm positive that's what he would say (or at least I want to believe that's what he would say.)  Instead this offered him an excellent opportunity to send me back a picture of his own toilet with the words

"This is where I do my business! Now we both have pictures of each other's bathroom!!"

To me: this is true love. Seriously, the start of our text relationship  went something like this:


Me: Eghast! School is ridiculous! I am thinking we should bbq tonight and maybe go on a pick ride, sound good to you? Also, how's life? [if you would like pull out the first section and put in "I am riding my bike through the cemetery and texting. YAY me!" or "I have no ability to sit still, I think I might need to eat breakfast in the morning." Basically, put something random in at front and end in a question]

Him: Ok.  [ok, to my first or second question BF? Generally I would just go with the first one]

Me: Sweet! Well, I have burgers and buns , do you want potato or a green salad, b/c I have stuff for either? Also, I'm bringing hotrod b/c you never know what might happen ;) [this is a completely for real text that I sent him complete with winking smiley face. I still have no idea what I meant by that but I thought he might laugh. He didn't even sound some much as a "haha back"]

Him: Sure.  [sure?!? SURE!?! What's that supposed to mean BF? How am I supposed to determine anything from that?]


Me: So....potato or green salad? [basically I just give up trying to understand him and accept his one word answers]

Him: potato. 

End of conversation.

Our phone conversations were just as bad, which was awful because our relationship was still super new when our relationship moved from normal to  LONG DISTANCE. (but that's a post for another day)

[Yes it was completely necessary to make increase the size of the font.] 

But things have changed and now we are just awkward and in weirdness together. So that's my work and my love.


 

Topsy-Turvy

If spring break wasn't next week, I would probably cry. Luckily it is, so everyone can be spared to ridiculous-ness of me crazy tears.

Seriously, it's been a crazy week because:

1. My G's (otherwise known as Grandparents) are coming home on Monday from their 18 month mission. This is normally news that would make me excited that after living in their house for 18 months. Me (and my cousins Jess and Dannon) need to clean it. Which is stressful and takes a ton of work but at least our results are clearly seen. I also used their car and now it needs an oil change, new tires and a wash, which is more time that needs to be put towards fixing things.

2. I have been put through the wringer of assignments and I am still not done with all of them. I still have a huge paper/research project to do over spring break, which is a big deal seeing as if I can't complete this assignment basically I have no hope for a career in International Development (this is bad seeing as my major is International Studies and Economics) which is my dream.

3. I am trying to find funding so that I can go to Haiti this summer for an internship but I have had three of the five I have applied for turn me down, which is discouraging to say the least.

4. Having a long distance relationship is like trying to talk to someone where neither one of you speaks the same language. You spend half your time having no idea what's going on with the other one and you just sort of hope that they are thinking about you and know that you are thinking about them.

But luckily it's over!! And quite honestly, I could not be happier with that!