It's not me, it's you.

Have you ever been a situation where you know you are in the wrong (like you bet your husband ten dollars there was a full moon outside only to walk outside and see that there is definitely NOT a moon tonight) and then you wait WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too long before admitting that you were wrong until you have to sheepishly come back in and mention that you were wrong and it's super awkward?

Well, um, hi I'm sorry. I was wrong. 

I think I was under the impression that it would be possible for me to do everything all at once. You know work 30 hours a week, go to school, graduate from college, find a job, move 2 hours away and deal with the holidays and still have time to post blogposts about my life. Well, I was completely incorrect. 

So moving on, I have moved south, and I now live extremely close to a school I:

a. abhor

b. dislike

c. find super annoying

d. all of the above

e. Babelicious!

f. all of the above except e. 

The answer is probably obvious it's b. I don't abhor the institution and I do find the people but the school itself is well...less than stellar.

I do love seeing my siblings more which has been a huge plus to moving closer to the institution of death and destruction. I also found myself getting more and more psyched for the Hunger Games movie which is coming out super soon. To end this blog post I have a couple of videos and a promise: I will give you a tour of my new house (via pictures). 

This is the song from Taylor Swift that is going to be in Hunger Games. It's nothing like her other songs and I really like it.

Here's just another trailer of the Hunger Games b/c I can't get enough of this show.

I am a pro at marriage and yes it is a competition

 I basically proved myself being a professional wife.

I know, I know. You are all very impressed.

I have this (psychotic) need to prove myself as the BEST at something.

Currently I am the BEST wife for Homestar.

[sidebar: Having never been married and only having one wife, Homestar doesn't have a lot of competition for this spot. But I will take a win when I see it.]

I think I spend some much of my day forgetting or just plain failing that it is sometimes nice to feel the BEST at being a wife.

[Additional sidebar: I am human so trust me, I fail....a lot.]

But that's neither here nor there.

What is happening is I have not updated. Here's a little quiz of why:
a. I am winning at being a wife and the awards ceremonies are back to back.
b. I am a full time student and working 30 hours a week. And if I'm not at school or work I'm falling asleep on my husband during dinner and murmuring, "That's nice."
c. In between adopting all children and donating my blood, I haven't found time to update.
d. All of the Above


Correct Answer: D, All of the Above. And no, I'm not lying about adopting all the children in the world.

For all seriousness, I am a little busier than I thought I would be but here is a little update of what I have been up to:

First, I sold half my soul to the Devil. And I guess my sister did too based on this picture. I'm not quite sure why we look so evil but Jan-Jans (not her real name) my sister-in-law looks nice and normal.

Maybe she's the Devil, we sold our souls too.

[sidebar: My older brother got married a month after my husband and I did, which was ridiculously crazy for my family but I love this Jana girl if she is the Devil she is very good at hiding it. See above.]

Here are my favorite pictures at that event:
This is my sisters and I holding up our older/younger brother. Don't we look related?

[sidebar: please note how dang good I look. I'm making a somewhat sly face but my leg position is Top Model worthy. *sniff* Tyra would be so proud! Also note that this will never happen in another picture this post]

Luckily for you I went back to my usual wide mouth weirdness in this one.

And in this one. I seem to have a preference for weird face pictures but no worries, I have great dental hygiene, which you can all see.

We also got our real wedding photos and here is one of my favorites:



That is the love of my life. And I am his #1 Wife. I think I need a mug with that on it.

Make some noise with a "Z".

First of all my title for this blogpost is in fact a TV show quote. I will spend at least post on my favorite TV shows, mainly because they are silly.

But it also brings to mind a lot of happy and joyful kind of events which are very similar to my wedding day.

Yes folks I'm now married! Forever and all that good stuff! To prove it here's a picture:

 

It was a pretty awesome day, to sound cool and mature and not at all ridiculous but there was one moment where I descended into weirdness with Homestar and that was when we were cutting the cake. I am going to tell this story in pictures because they add to the weirdness. Our reception was more of a luncheon thingy with just friends and close family. We had it at a park in Ogden called the MTC learning park. It was pretty awesome and super gorgeous! I would recommend looking it up online. (Name that movie!)

So everyone gathered around us and then we attempted to cut this cake. I will be honest. My face in this picture describes what I am feeling. "Haha. We are pretending we have no idea how to cut this cake, aren't we cute? hehe, can someone help us...please?" I was pretty desperate because we looked foolish. but not the cute we're-so-in-love-we-can't-even-cut-the-cake, the we-can't-cut-the-cake-we-look-dumb. kind.

[sidebar: my sister made the cake and it was so gorgeous! She's pretty legit.]

This is when my mom had to step in and cut the cake for us. There are many pictures of my mom stepping in and helping me from destroying something. Whether it was from stopping me from stabbing my prom date with a boutonniere pin (she even helped pin on Homestar's) to stepping in and fixing my wild hair. My mom has been there and it wouldn't be a real gathering if she didn't step in again. Thanks Ma!


[sidebar: I call my mom Ma and my dad Pa so that they know which child they are talking to. They tend to roll their eyes when I do this.]

So we cut the cake effectively and then we are going to feed each other.  Earlier, Homestar had told me that if I was nice, he would be nice. So I was going to be nice. You can see it in my eyes that I am going to lovingly put it in his mouth.  What happened next was he shoved cake in my face and so I took my plate and smeared it on him.  There is no picture of when I did it but my brother-in-law said that I looked "scary".

  

My mother then proclaimed: Emily! So in this picture my only response was "He did it first!" Which is true. My actions were purely reactionary. I would not smear stuff on my one true love. That is mean.

So of course he had to help clean me up. And that is where this awkward gem appeared. I'm not quite sure why I look like that or why I decided to put my head like an awkward ostrich.  I appear displeased. hmm...no comment.

Anyway, my cousins decided to then convince us to kiss. They all started singing "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid. It went a little like this:

Them: She-la-la-la don't be shy, you better hold on tight you should-"

*awkward pause while I put it together*

Me:...yeah...oh kiss the girl!

Them:...so kiss him.

Me: Right!

 

So I did. Albeit a little awkwardly. But that's just like our love. Awkwardly cute and weird.

Average is as Average does.

My wedding is about two weeks away (15 days to be exact).


I honestly can't wait. Patience has never and probably will never be a very "developed" talent of mine. Instead, I employ tricks like demanding that time move faster so that I can be married in what feels like no time!

Just fyi:   Time is a Jerkface.

I guess it's probably a good thing that I have more time than I want because the things that I need to get done seem to continue to pile up and every time I check off a big one about fifty more small ones pop up.



And then I have the whole problem where I recognize that I should probably be spending some time with almost husband (15 days) but we do not live in the same town so it means we have to schedule it like we are some sort of high powered couple with crazy busy important schedules instead of two silly kids with broken cars and jobs in different cities.

Maybe its a good thing but I have to admit I prefer seeing him everyday and doing dumb stuff then planned dates. It seems a little stuffy.

Well, on an extremely upbeat note I have figured out what his nickname is going to be! This is a BD [big deal] because I take nicknames seriously.

I really do not like calling people by their given names. For some reason, I will shorten it to make one syllable or add syllables because "it sounds better" or make one up completely because it has nothing to do with their name. I really do not follow a pattern.

I do this with everyone. I also tend not to ask them if they like it because then they might so "No" and I would not be able to call them what I want to. To save myself from having to stop, I just do it. (Nike would be so proud!)

Anyway, I have come up with a nickname for him; Homestar.

This name is partly because I love Homestarrunner. (check him out at homestarrunner.com)
It's partly because I think of him as my hommie G. (we have in fact started a gang.)

For realz. Here are our gang pictures:

 Ok these really aren't gang pictures but we are complete ridiculous together so he can totally be my hommie G.

And it's partly because of this song:

Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros. Here's the link to their video (they have two swear words, I'm sorry) : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHEOF_rcND8

Here's the lyric that just makes me think of Homestar every single time:
man, oh man you're my best friend
I scream it into nothingness
there ain't nothing that I need

Seriously.
The lyrics are amazingly great at describing how I feel.  The chorus is:
Ah, home
Let me go home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Ah, home
Let me go home
Home is wherever I'm with you.


Home really is wherever I'm with Homestar. And in 15 days, we're making it permanent.

So I went to Haiti...

Hello blogging world!

I have returned from Haiti, free of malaria, stress and (unfortunately) orphans.  So it was a fairly successful trip in my mind (minus the whole orphan thing).


Haiti is a gorgeous country that has problems (like most countries) but unlike some countries Haiti's problems are kind of the serious kind: malaria, AIDS, earthquakes, terrible infrastructure, etc.  Which means that the biggest source of income/growth could come from tourism which is limited because as it states of the State Department website: Travel is not recommended in Haiti.


Well, the Emily department recommends it; especially if you like to have your life flash before your eyes anytime you used public transportation.

To start off my stories about Haiti, I need to explain what I was doing there.

As a requirement for my major, I had to have an "international experience" (no joke that's what it's called)  so I because I knew someone who knew someone who was a part of this NGO (Non-Governmental Organization) called Sustain Haiti I decided to go with them.

I had a great time as a part of that organization. I even had a name badge with a horrible picture. It was very legit.  We spent our time working on different projects like micro-financing loans, orphanages, gardening, and health projects like teaching handwashing and basic first aid.

We did a little bit of everything but I really had a blast working with the orphans. They were definitely the best part of the trip. But it was hard to leave them. Anyway, Sustain Haiti was located in Leogane which was the epicenter of the quake last year. So it still had a ton of problems but it was a gorgeous part of Haiti.

Sorry to be so long but here are some pictures:

[sidebar: I can't get my pictures to load, so I will post more. These are ones I stole from facebook]

This is about how many people can ride a moto if you don't have any problems with personal space.  The driver of the moto is in green. His name is Junior and he was one of the funniest people I met. He was the guy who helped us out and took us around to different projects that we did. He was mainly involved with the gardening aspects but he helped us out a ton with other stuff too! He was just all around a good guy.  The people on the bike (front to back): Paula, Junior, Me, Rony, and Jon.

Riding a moto is a bit like putting your life in the hands of mad scientist. You really have no idea what they are thinking but they obviously know more than you....they both can also kill you. I really spent quite a bit of time on a moto wondering if the last words to your loved one were going to be, "Don't forget me" (true story) and "Stay awesome". 

This is the group of us (from left to right): Madouchie, Becky, Claire, Me, Abby, and Schnider.  Madouchie and Schnider were the kids who would follow us around because they did not go to school. We are sitting in front of the LDS chapel in Leogane waiting for the rain to stop so we can go to our next appointment.

In Haiti, if it rains, everything stops. Nothing keeps going. It's pretty insane to tell you the truth. Literally, the entire town just stops functioning. It's a blessing and a curse [name that TV show!] because sometimes you would like to take a break but mainly you are hoping that they get back to work soon.

Ok. We are making boxes for transportable gardens for orphanages that do not have enough ground to plant there.

Junior and I had a brother-sister relationship. His wife (Saskya) and him were the Haitian version of my cousin and her husband who I love so that was pretty cool. He would make fun of me all the time and I responded by pulling pranks.

When we finished these boxes they looked like coffins, so I hid in one and jumped out at him...worth it.

 

These three are adventure pictures. The middle one is not any where near the first and the last one, but I thought it looked better in the middle. 

Haiti is basically a giant beach with mountains. It's kind of cool.

These two pictures are me with adorable orphans. I have and will be posting more pictures of orphans. I guess it should be mentioned that I wanted every orphan I had but as my friend Matt says, "YOU'RE NOT MARRIED YOU CAN'T HAVE A KID", and when Matt is the voice of reason, things are definitely a little weird. 

This last two pictures define my trip to Haiti:

A lot of smiling, sweaty faces but I had such a good time! I also did have that slightly crazed look the entire time I was there. I'm not quite sure why.

The first picture is of me and Becky holding bags of water. These are best when they are ice cold and it's literally a plastic bag of water that you bite a hole in a guzzle down. They are amazing!

The next picture is of me and Junior and a water bottle called Emily Drink. Junior said that I only brought a giant water bottle so I could feel helpful, because I knew I couldn't drink it all. Basically it was one of those times when a name just sticks and so soon everyone was drinking from Emily Drink. It became the thing to ask for and Junior even came up with a slogan.

Emily Drink...For Everybody!

It still makes me crack up.

Nickname Recalled. Lamest Sauce.

I guess I should start out this blog post with the most interesting of news:  

I'm engaged!!!!

[Yes that had to be in the biggest font available!] Which is totally awesome because it means I'm marrying the best person in the entire universe who currently has a goatee that makes him look about 20 years older than he really is....whew, that was a mouthful.

For awhile, I thought I was going to just upgrade him from the BF to the F, but then I thought it looked like he was failing and a lot of blogposts started out with the F and I which is just weird. I also considered other names like the hubby which made me sound...icky and Cutie Pie Jones which is just plain weird. 

Then I talked to him and he was all like:

Him: no.

Me: please.

Him: no.

Me: please.

Him: no.

Me: fine.

So I guess I'm going to have to come up with some sort of awesome nickname on my own for him and now because he wants no part in it; it has to be some sort of sugary sweet kind of nickname. What about sugarlips? Or Cooky? Or babyhoneysweetieoatcakes?

I have to admit I'm partial to the last one.

Why I am Still Awkward [The Abridged Edition]

I am in this scholar thing.

Its basically like the dorkiest thing I have done to get money for school.

Seriously.

You want to see a nerd. Don't look to far from this one because I have a permanent residence in Dorkville, I work in Geekland and I summer [sidebar: I have been waiting for an opportunity to use that as a verb :) ] in Nerdtown.

It's "Where amazing scholars come together to discuss transformational ideas!" (taken from the website). It makes it sound like Brain Camp or Space Camp "where young explorers come together and soar to new heights!" Its perfect for me because it involves reading books and talking.

I like both. Many would say too much. :)

Anyway, we decided to take pictures because we have to create this book to give to our benefactors. I was against this idea from the beginning but I was over-ruled because "pictures show them who we are." [sidebar: that is a direct quote from one of the girls]


So we took pictures. Most people were nice photos that look like head shots similar to this:

A nice photo of them that even Tyra Banks (of America's Next Top Model fame) would be proud of. No weird teeth shots, happy without looking crazy, beautiful hair, etc. I know Tyra would make this photo of the week (seriously watch the show. It's pretty awesome)

This is my best shot. And it's been tranformed into black and white, so it looks better.

Here are the first three things that people ask:

Q: What's with the plant and the book?
A: We were told to bring our favorite book that we read and mine was Tropical Nature. A book about nature and of course I decided to pose by the house plant, which is not tropical at all.

Q: Why is your mouth open?
A: I don't know. I guess I thought this was a good idea but instead it looks forced and weird. From all the Top Model that I watch you would have thought that I would have learned my lesson and not opened my mouth like I'm a fake model.

Q: So...you are the face of this program?
A: Oh heavens. I hope not.  I am not nearly scholarly enough.

And this ends the abridged version of why I am still awkward.

Come back next time for: reasons to call your dad pops!