Work: Nerds and Seats

My spring break was a great break but describing it in detail is difficult because half the things I did were family or work related. I mean seriously I worked ten hour days and wrote a research paper and saw my recently returned grandparents who just came home from their (3rd) mission.

NBD (that means no big deal for those who are unaware :) And they do not translate into stories that anyone would ever want to read.

Instead I have decided to tell you the story of the bathrooms in my place of employment.

I work at an IT service desk. I deal with computers which makes you think that I definitely am a complete nerd who is smart with computers.

TRUTH: I am a nerd

FALSEHOOD: I am good with computers

But the point is that the ratio of males to females at my place of employment is about 3 to 1. (Sidebar: this ratio used to be higher but there has been a large wave of female employment.)

Our bathroom is small. I'm not going to lie. If we worked at a spot that had even one more woman, we would definitely have a line for the bathroom. Seriously.  But there is one thing in this bathroom that I am almost certain no other bathroom has.



Movie Theater Seats!!


 My bathroom at work has a row of Movie Theater seats. Do you know what this means? This means that should I ever need to wait I can wait in the padded comfort of a velvet red theater seat.

How they got in there is beyond me but they are there and because I was feeling....I don't know you pick:

a. bored
b. hyper
c. silly
d. somewhat foolish
e. angry
f. tired

g. zebra
h. all of the above plus a banana

I felt it was high time to send the BF a picture of my delightful bathroom.

[sidebar: I can't upload the picture on here b/c it is on my phone and it refuses to come off...seriously, my phone does not like my blog. I tried to make amends but it just wasn't happening.]

I sent it to him with the message, "this is my bathroom! Aren't those seats awesome?"


I'm sure if the BF wrote a guest post (which he won't) he would discuss many wonderful things about how my complete inability to follow social norms creates wonderful opportunities for him to love me creatively.


I'm positive that's what he would say (or at least I want to believe that's what he would say.)  Instead this offered him an excellent opportunity to send me back a picture of his own toilet with the words

"This is where I do my business! Now we both have pictures of each other's bathroom!!"

To me: this is true love. Seriously, the start of our text relationship  went something like this:


Me: Eghast! School is ridiculous! I am thinking we should bbq tonight and maybe go on a pick ride, sound good to you? Also, how's life? [if you would like pull out the first section and put in "I am riding my bike through the cemetery and texting. YAY me!" or "I have no ability to sit still, I think I might need to eat breakfast in the morning." Basically, put something random in at front and end in a question]

Him: Ok.  [ok, to my first or second question BF? Generally I would just go with the first one]

Me: Sweet! Well, I have burgers and buns , do you want potato or a green salad, b/c I have stuff for either? Also, I'm bringing hotrod b/c you never know what might happen ;) [this is a completely for real text that I sent him complete with winking smiley face. I still have no idea what I meant by that but I thought he might laugh. He didn't even sound some much as a "haha back"]

Him: Sure.  [sure?!? SURE!?! What's that supposed to mean BF? How am I supposed to determine anything from that?]


Me: So....potato or green salad? [basically I just give up trying to understand him and accept his one word answers]

Him: potato. 

End of conversation.

Our phone conversations were just as bad, which was awful because our relationship was still super new when our relationship moved from normal to  LONG DISTANCE. (but that's a post for another day)

[Yes it was completely necessary to make increase the size of the font.] 

But things have changed and now we are just awkward and in weirdness together. So that's my work and my love.


 

Topsy-Turvy

If spring break wasn't next week, I would probably cry. Luckily it is, so everyone can be spared to ridiculous-ness of me crazy tears.

Seriously, it's been a crazy week because:

1. My G's (otherwise known as Grandparents) are coming home on Monday from their 18 month mission. This is normally news that would make me excited that after living in their house for 18 months. Me (and my cousins Jess and Dannon) need to clean it. Which is stressful and takes a ton of work but at least our results are clearly seen. I also used their car and now it needs an oil change, new tires and a wash, which is more time that needs to be put towards fixing things.

2. I have been put through the wringer of assignments and I am still not done with all of them. I still have a huge paper/research project to do over spring break, which is a big deal seeing as if I can't complete this assignment basically I have no hope for a career in International Development (this is bad seeing as my major is International Studies and Economics) which is my dream.

3. I am trying to find funding so that I can go to Haiti this summer for an internship but I have had three of the five I have applied for turn me down, which is discouraging to say the least.

4. Having a long distance relationship is like trying to talk to someone where neither one of you speaks the same language. You spend half your time having no idea what's going on with the other one and you just sort of hope that they are thinking about you and know that you are thinking about them.

But luckily it's over!! And quite honestly, I could not be happier with that!

A New type of Greeting! Act Now!

I can kindly be described as a cold girl.  I used to be known as a warm girl with a natural body temperature that allowed me to enjoy the cold; thrive off of it even. Then suddenly, without warning, things changed and I became cold. I started to wear pants in the summer and an extra jacket during the fall, but now things have escalated to a point that I do not know if I can continue without a transfusion of warm.


Occasionally [read: all the time] I try to warm my hands on BF's neck, contrary to popular [BF's] belief I do not do this to:

1. Torture him

2. To make him prove his love for me. (I have better testing methods than this :)

3. Because I want to eventually kill him of hypothermia.

Why do I put my cold hands on his neck?

Because it is the warmest, nicest, all around BEST spot to put my cold hands and have them gain back some of their warmth. Basically, I do it because his neck is warm and my hands are cold.

I would do this to others if it wasn't considered a social faux pas to place your hands on someone's neck. I feel like this should be considered a new type of greeting and I have been working on it but there are few people who seem to agree with me that placing hands on the neck is an appropriate greeting. With a lot of had work, I believe that it will soon replace the handshake as a type of formal greeting.

Then I will no longer have to place my hands only on the BF's neck and he will realize that I am not trying to kill him.

NPR Valentines make me feel LOVE!

So...this is slightly belated but totally worth every second late....because......


LOOK HOW AWESOME THESE NPR (National Public Radio) VALENTINES ARE!!!!

 My inner nerd is literally giddy with delight right now. Seriously, how can you beat these beauties? I sent (via facebook) the first one to my sister because she would understand it and appreciate it. And yes, I will admit it I listen to NPR. A lot. Enough to be considered a senior citizen which is ok b/c the BF is old as well.

I'm sure you're all wondering how my Valentine's Day was and what super awkward goodness I got myself into. Strangely enough, my Valentine's Day was extremely chill because

1. It was a Monday; it's kind of hard to feel super romantic on a Monday.

2. The BF lives in Bountiful (about an 1 1/2 hours away) and he has school until late at night. It really just was not worth the effort, and while it would have nice I wasn't expecting anything. 

Instead, I count the weekend I spent with the BF as my Valentine's Day celebration/his birthday celebration. It was very nice to spend a weekend with him and he LOVED the present (Linkin Park tickets) I got him which makes me the best girlfriend ever is always a plus. :)

He is so funny when he gets his excited eyebrows. I wish I could draw them but there is just no way to accurately depict these brows of glory but suffice it to say they are awesome. 

Instead, for Valentine's Day I had dinner with my friends Kodie (a girl) and Katy (if you don't know the gender you don't need to know) and then played Disney Scene it. It was kind of nice to take a break but it wasn't a crazy night by any means.

Ok, here's the gushiest, mushiest, most sweet thing that happened to me yesterday (read: day after Valentine's day) the BF sent me this text completely unprompted: Italicized words are texts.

Him: Babe. You are the best. (AWWWWWWW....who doesn't like to hear that?)

Me: That I am. (No I am not cocky, I am confident. There is a difference...I think.) What prompted you to tell me this?

Him: I don't know. (Hmm...looks like my mind control is working BAHAHAHAHAha..bad joke sorry) I just thought it and my thumbs did the walking.  (say it with me: AWWWWWWWWWW)

Me: *melted into a little puddle of AWWWW* your thumbs did the walking, eh? (what am I? Canadian?) 

 

And that about sums up our relationship, me being weird and him being sweet.  Anyway, happy belated Valentine's Day!

I may have told a half-truth this week but it was for a good cause

So....this week is a special week because....THERE'S AN IWA DANCE ON FRIDAY!!!  

Yes, I realize what you are thinking...Emily. You are way too excited for an IWA Dance. It's not that big of a deal and is in all reality just a lame dance, but au contraire mes amis, this one is completely different because....

THE BOYFRIEND IS COMING WITH ME. TEEHEE. (I had to use a smaller font to attempt to contain my excitement.)

***Sidebar: Ok I realize that for many of you this isn't exciting at all; it's even more boring than when I told you about that time at band camp but for the rest of you who are just bubbling over with excitement that I completely and totally agree with you!! ****

Alright now here are some reasons why I am excited:

1. I love dances. I love to dance. I love listening to the Top 40 (clean mix) songs and shaking my tail feathers. This does not mean I have an ability to dance. In fact, I would say that I am fairly uncoordinated and probably look like a hyperactive squirrel (for a more accurate picture I refer you to the ever striking hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com post on expectation vs. reality to understand my full point) But even still I love to dance, and my uncoordinated dance moves do not stop me from doing it and loving it (if you even think, that's what she said, I will strike you down with a roundhouse kick). 




2. The BF is coming with me. 
(sidebar: ok, I know this is random, but I know if you read this blog, you probably know who I am and know who the BF is,  but....I still do not feel comfortable just talking about him online without his permission, so the BF he will remain until I can think of a better nickname...) 

Which is a pretty big deal as he hates dances, with a burning fiery passion that he usually reserves for things like Satan and Justin Bieber. It only took me a lot bribing and a wee bit of pleading to get him to come. I think it actually went down like this:


Me: So....there's an IWA dance next weekend....*I look pointedly at him waiting for him to finish my sentence with a "sure we should go!"*


Him: yeah? *he knows me too well*


Me: *with a nonexistent amount of nonchalance* We should go!!!!!!


Him:*groans in agony* but...Eemmm...


Me: Come on, I told people I would come (true statement) and it will be real fun (somewhat true: it will be tons of fun for me and no fun for him) and super legit and you'll get dinner (true but a bribe) and I will love you (true but also a bribe) and I really want to go (the start of the pleading)


Him:....


Me: *pulls out the puppy dog eyes and the lip curl  and goes in for the kill* Come on, I missed the last one...*the BF groans again in even more agony* and I can't go by myself and who else would I bring but you? 


Him: fine...


Me:*begins celebratory dance complete with high kicks and cartwheels* WOOOOOHOOOO! 

So...yeah this is a big deal.




3. I have a pretty dress! Because this a formal dance, I had to find a dress. I wore this dress last year but that doesn't stop it from being super pretty. Here is a picture of me and my bff Kodie. (additional sidebar: I like taking pictures but I do not have a camera which seems silly doesn't it? I think when I am super rich and famous I will by myself a camera.)

 

I am on the right. In the purple dress. Yes I am wearing that dress.

(sidebar: I noticed that we are in a very awkward pose. Like we should be posted on awkwardfamilyphotos.com; I don't know why we are doing this so...just ignore it and concentrate on the DRESS!!!)

I like this dress. I do not know why, I think it does not make me feel gross and fat which is mainly how I feel in formals but its hard not to right?

4. I'm taking the BF for Slurpee's after the dance. I know it seems lame but (hopefully) it will make all the difference for him. :)

So...recap: I'm excited!  

I am a volcano of pure awesomeness just waiting to explode!

(Ok, I'm done, the excitement is out)

You're holding my hand Chuck, you sly dog... :)

I have decided to dedicate this post to one of the best people in my life....my sister, Natalie.

To fill you in on the current situation:

I am at home, during Christmas break doing the normal Christmas break things: sleeping in, eating, never getting out of my pajamas (and not having my mother make any sort of comment about it) and reveling in the fact that there is someone who understands every single one of my jokes.

(The title of this post is a reference to a wonderful movie entitled: A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving for those of you who are unaware).

Something that makes my sister Natalie special is that she needs no explanation of this to understand that I am quoting a wonderful line delivered my the impeccable Peppermint Patty.

I guess you could say me and Natalie are close but that is a complete understatement; we're more like twins than sisters.

I know this sounds totally sappy and Natalie would be completely outraged and say something to the effect that we have no similarities and we are merely sisters though she being more mature than me should be considered the older one. This is so commonplace that it would feel weird if she did not protest this fact.

I wish everyone could see Natalie for who she really is: the crazy, wonderful, ridiculous younger sister that I have.

Instead, they see her as one of two things:

1) the kind, mature Natalie

or

2) the bossy, stuck-up Natalie


Natalie can be both, but that's not WHO she is; she's just as crazy as me.  I guess with school and life I can forget about home and how much I love it but Natalie is my connection to home even if she is attending the  heathen school of BYU... (shudder). I guess she just has to be different, right?


I will have to admit going back to school will be difficult just as it always is.



Merry Christmas and see you in 2011!

Christmas?!? When did you get here?

Christmas is a wonderful time of the year when snow falls, people seem cheerier and the world is at peace. *cue the angelic voices*.

Unfortunately for me, Christmas is somewhat like your mother unexpectedly dropping in on you.

[DISCLAIMER: I love my mom. I just look a dirty slob when she comes.]

It's not like she can come on a Sunday after you spent the entire Saturday cleaning and she can come in when you are sitting there looking all nice in your Sunday clothes, clean and fresh. You look wonderful and you have some sort of delicious something cooking in the background.

That's too easy.

Instead, she'll drop in on you on the Thursday where you have 2 weeks of laundry sitting in the corner and the dishes in the sink are starting to create flies. You slept in and are wearing a shirt with three mysterious stains on it. You didn't shower but it rained and so you look like a drowned rat and you just got home and are sitting on the couch not doing anything because your brain feels like you tossed it in a blender with a bunch of random facts and you are just hoping that if you sit there long enough you will get the energy to do the stuff you need to do.

And then your mom comes in.

And as she gives you and the room a once over, you give up the fight and just sit there like a fish out of water, praying that she doesn't ask you why?
 -Why your room is messy and she can smell your clothes?
-Why you have flies in your dishes?
-Why you look terrible?

Instead, you realize that the most you can hope for is just a slightly cocked eyebrow. If your mom is fully really guilt-trippy she will just start cleaning things up and that's when everything comes out in a flood because there is seriously nothing worse than watching your mom clean up your mess. I can't handle it, so I generally start to bawl while shouting, "STOP CLEANING!"

Christmas is a little like that, minus the mom guilt. It's just the normal kind where you think to yourself. "Now I have these people in my life that deserve/need a Christmas present" and then you realize that you have no way to get them anything that they are going to like. This is something that I have happen to me a lot. In fact, most gift-giving holidays terrify me because everyone seems to just instinctively know exactly what I want and that's  exactly what I get. It means that I spend most of Christmas worried that they hate me gift because to be perfectly honest with you I am a lousy gift giver.

This year it has been taken to a whole new level. I now have a boyfriend that has been added to the list. This kid is a douzy because of two things:

1. I know him but at the same time I have no idea what he will like. He also bought the blu-ray I was going to give him for himself. (note: I know, who does that in December?!?)

2. He told me he got the perfect present for me. (Seriously, how could that not scare anyone?)

This is the kind of pressure that makes me feel like I should know these people better.

Example: My sister Angela got me the third season of Psych for Christmas last year. Did I even ask for that? No, but it was the best gift because I LOVE that show! I was so psyched (hahaha, pun totally intended!)

This is why Christmas is always a little bit scary....