Slip n' Tumble n' Fall n' Slide in a heap to the bottom

I have decided that Slip n' Slide are ridiculously badly named. I mean, how often do you just slip and then slide down the wet plastic sheet of death?

For me, a Slip n' Slide is more a demonstration of my lack of coordination and ability to bruise my entire body in one fall. Why did I go down a Slip n' Slide? Wouldn't I just avoid the death trap? Au contraire, mes amies, that would be too easy.

This all started when I went to my cousin's reception in Ogden.
My cousin got married last week in Nauvoo, Illinois and went on his honeymoon right after. Seeing as most of his family and her family were here in Utah, they decided to have a reception of sorts celebrating their marriage. Because I am from a large family, receptions are usually synonymous with stress, back aches, and leftovers that will feed us until the apocalypse, but this one was different. Following tradition, the bride's family puts on the reception, so all we (the groom's family) had to do was show up and look presentable. This was easy enough and the invitation said they would be playing volleyball, so I brought some shorts I could change into to play.

NOTE: there was nothing about a Slip n' Slide in said invitation.

The reception started out pretty normally, a lot of standing around and catching up with various relatives, all of which joked about how I was going to be married next, (sidebar: seriously relatives? Do you not realize that I have an older sister who has to be married before me? please...) and in general just goofing around.
Tracy and Lincoln decided to have their "line" over my the food. So as Tracy (in her wedding dress) and Lincoln were flipping burgers to give to people, they were able to be congratulated for their marriage. I enjoyed talking to them while putting relish on my bun. It worked out nicely for me. The girl cousins who were there did our usual and sang "No life without wife" to Tracy accompained by some silly hip twists and booty shaking. (Additional sidebar: this is a tradition started at the first wedding, Lance and Julie, because of the Bollywood movie: Bride and Prejudice which is the Bollywood version of Pride and Prejudice, check it out).
Tracy had the most confused face on, while Lincoln looked embarrassed. A win, in my book of course.

The reception started getting weird about the time, Tracy played volleyball (in her wedding dress). I had changed to play volleyball, forgetting the cardinal rule of all ball sports: If it is round, it will hit Emily in the face.  So I suffered from some great face shots before giving up. Then they pulled out a Slip n' Slide.

This wasn't some little kids thing. This was a monster of epic proportions, and it was challenging me to a duel, winner takes all (my pride). I really didn't think I was going to go on, but then Tracy did it in her wedding dress which was the last straw for my feeble pride. I ran, I slipped, I fell, I bruised, and slid into the grass at the bottom.
Did you know there are such things called grass burns? I did not until I felt them on my face. Currently, my face looks like a fight between a cat and dog was boxed out on my face. I also knocked down a tiki torch and got a paper cut on my upper lip. (not quite sure how the last one happened.